I finished off my last 'Weekly D' blog with the famous last words of "Fuck it, I'll try harder next week."and that was in July. Needless to say in addition to neglecting this new blog topic, I've neglected the blog as a whole. Mostly due to a sickening lack of motivation and glorious heatwaves.
Well the good weather has been shrouded in rain clouds and ominous grey colours filling up the atmosphere motivation can be built again from this moment (Hopefully)
Tuesday 2nd October
22:32
Chav drama
Well the good weather has been shrouded in rain clouds and ominous grey colours filling up the atmosphere motivation can be built again from this moment (Hopefully)
Tuesday 1st October
3:37am
Facebook drama
If there's one thing I believe we can agree on, it's that we all like to see a nice bit of drama on Facebook, and why the hell not? I believe that by posting intimate details of whatever problems may or may not be plaguing your life, you're basically opening yourself to a show. Your friends list being the audience and you and your piddly ass problems being the main attraction.
Some are vicious, and way too personal for the likes of Facebook, (I've kinda delved into this in volume one)
But some, like the one that inspired this post are so hilariously pathetic you just can't help but feel smug that you don't feel the need to air such dirty laundry.
Like I said mere moments ago, Facebook drama is but a show for the selected audience. I am the dweeb at the back of this audience with recording equipment ready for a bit of copyright infringement. I believe it's some form of family as well, which as you can imagine only adds to the magic.
It's fucking confusing, and I'm surprised that it's even an issue for the actual adult involved.
Girl A, we'll call her Lola Ralph (Hardly inconspicuous) is in a relationship with a dude named Boy Friend. They also have a child together, though this is irrelevant.
It appears that Lola, whilst with her friends got 'fraped' and had her relationship status changed to 'married to Boy Friend' and her name changed to 'Lola Friend'.
Lola's mother, Agnew, fucking freaked the fuck out.
"OH LOOKS LIKE I WASN'T INVITED TO YOUR FUCKING FAKE WEDDING, TWAT!"
"IT'S A MISTAKE MARRYING BOY FRIEND, FUCKING DICK"
"YOU ONLY GET ONE MOTHER!!!!!"
"YOU'RE DROPPING THE RALPH NAME" (Can anyone blame her for that? The 'Ralph' name is more or less a joke.
FYI, I've reshaped the jabs to be coherent because you'd honestly wouldn't be able to decipher the original comments, hell even I'm doubting myself.
Agnew, then went into a full blown Facebook meltdown, catching the attention of myself, and many others. But why? Why did she catch the attention of others?
Well, how about the fact that she took a screen shot of Boy Friends status, which was basically him referencing his child to the devil. TAGGED HIS MUM with the caption "Well, he's been bought up well".
This isn't a fourteen year old girl, this is a woman in her mid fifties with three kids and a granddaughter. The back and forth went on, name calling, threats of walking out of each others lives, all sorts involved.
I was just ready to screen cap some of the action when one of two possible things happened.
1: Agnew deleted me (I had commented on her screen shot basically mocking her dirty laundry hampering)
2: Bewildered by the backlash of being a moron, Agnew deleted her Facebook.....Probably until tomorrow.
Seriously, Facebook has turned people into raging, blithering idiots. And it's fucking beautiful.
Tuesday 2nd October
22:32
Chav drama
It is but a week of petty drama (or shaping up to be anyway).
On the way into town today, I walked past two chavs, one with his little hood up (To be fair it was drizzly) and one with a bike. Despite the bike, they were going at an incredibly slow pace so I easily overtook them.
I go to a crossing and a van speeds past, screeches its tires and a fellow chav hangs half of his scrawny body out the window.
"YOU FOCKEN CUNT! FOCKEN CUNNNNNT!"
Shit is he talking to me? I turn around, and see the other two chavs mouthing back to van. "YEAH FUCK YOU TOO MEHT WE'LL FUCKING AV YA!
"YOU STAY RIGHT THERE, STAY THERE AND I'LL RIP YO' FUCKIN' HEAD OFF"
This was shaping up to be something big, van chav versus hooded and bike chav in an epic war of scumbaggery, winner takes all the benefits.
The van sped off, possibly looking for a parking space, I slow my pace to try and witness the beautiful collision that was about to lay before me.
The two chavs, bomb it past me.
"FUCK FUCK FUCK! E'S FUCKING COMING FOR US" one of them loudly exclaimed in pure panic. "WHERE DA WE GO?" the other replied as they mapped out their escape route. They ran across the incredibly busy road, (Bike chav nearly got hit in the process) and honest to go I've never seen a pair of chavs run so fast, both different directions whilst bike chav actually used his bike for once.
Van chav never came back.
There's a lesson to be learnt here.
Chavs are hilariously cowardly. This is pretty much common knowledge mind.
Thursday 4th October
02:08
Backseat gaming
I've never once claimed to be amazing at video games. In fact, I find a smugness to being better than most at them kind of sad to a degree. But hoh my god does it hurt to watch Stacey play GTA5.
For hours, borderline days of her playtime is dedicated to driving around San Andreas in a taxi, giving people lifts around the countryside.
Hey, I'm alright with this, the primary reason to get a video game is to take enjoyment from said video game, but it's her methods that I find questionable.
Too many times I've watched her terrify NPC passengers whilst rear ending cars, trucks, vans, and tractors. Both her and the passengers rarely survive the bumpy, flippy road. In her illustrious taxi career she has literally blown three taxis into flying pieces of flaming debris. She'll pick up her phone, ring another taxi, steal it and the cycle continues.
It's endearing, but what puts a strain on me watching is when things to pear shaped.
If, god forbid a passenger runs off without paying their fare. Instead of getting back into the cab and driving after the thief, she'll slowly take the chase by foot.
Because 80% of her gametime is dedicated to being a cabbie Franklins stamina is kinda low....She'll fail to acknowledge this and force him to run until his face collides with the floor in an exhausted heap of determined, yet pretty dumb mess.
Plan B.
She'll put out a gun and shoot blindly into the wilderness. Alerting the police, then the real panic begins. Instead of getting back into the fucking taxi, or any car in vicinity, she'll literally jump into the closest pond/river/lake/ocean/pool, anything water related, and swim around in a circle occasionally dipping under water.
It ends the same way every time, her losing her taxi earnings in hospital bills.
 |
| Another day, another dollar. |
Monday 21st October
15:24
Whoops
Alright, so since my last 'date' Pokemon Y has came out and GTA Online has literally not only made me neglect the blog, but completely forget about its existence, I've re-read this thinking "Oh yeah, that happened".
Now I've completed Pokemon..... I might be writing a little bit more.
Probably not though.