Some people have done terrible things in life.
Some people have inadvertently, or deliberately done something in which sadly, will be carried around on their shoulders for the rest of their days. The weight of this burden is only made heavier by the increasing guilt in which they're grasping onto.
It's not life altering, but it can affect the way somebody thinks for a while. It can be a learning experience, or an experience you'll look back on in shame one day. These guilt ridden moments can vary. From spreading a rumour about somebody who believed they could trust you, to injuring somebody and in some cases even ruining a life.
It's for that reason, my guiltiest moment is as woeful as it is weird.
Summer 2010.
It was a beautiful day in the middle of August, and I was in the middle of town with Girlfriend-face. Usually at some point we mark the day with some form of fast food. The usual contenders are the likes of Subway, KFC, Burger King... You get the picture.
However, living in Plymouth you're statistically only a stone throw away from a pasty shop, no matter where you are there will be one near by. So much so, that the pasty joint down the road from me shut down recently, and in replacement we have a fucking pasty van driving round the area at stupid o'clock in the morning like some sort of Cornish hot goods ice cream van. Surprisingly, I am yet to purchase one from this van. For some reason a pasty from a van is incredibly unappealing to me.
With this in mind, we decide that the best place for us to go is Oggy Oggy pasties, one of the more famous places to get a pasty, if not famous for their pasties then certainly famous for the unoriginal person screaming "OGGY OGGY OGGY OI OI OI" every five minutes at their door.
Me and Girlfriend-face enter the shop. Surprisingly, we're the only two customers.
We're greeted by one of the most genuinely cheery, happy, and lovely girls I've ever come across in my life.
"Hello! How can I help?" she smiled, her eyes twinkling of general pleasantries. Me and Girlfriend-face make our orders. Two steak pasties, a simple choice. The Oggy Oggy girl fishes out the pasties, places them in a bag for us and gets to the register.
Pasties make me incredibly thirsty, mix this with the incredibly hot weather then it didn't take a genius to decipher the fact that I'd need a drink almost instantly after leaving. In a rushed panic, I ask Girlfriend-face to grab me a drink from the nearby drinks fridge, literally right next to her.
"Oh! Get us a drink!".
I asked, the hastiness of trying to get Girlfriend-face to get the drink before Oggy Oggy girl cashed in the sub-total resulted in me asking rather rudely. Thankfully, Girlfriend-face knows I'm not good in situations in which speed is a factor so she forgave my rude tone.
However, at this point Oggy Oggy girl again smiled towards me and said....
"Oh.... The drink fridge is self service!" =)
"Ah........... Cool".
I knew this, hence why I asked Girlfriend-face to retrieve the drink, I assumed at the time she was just being courteous to our cause. To this day I don't know why I just said "Ah....... Cool".
Once we left, we sat down on a nearby bench. I don't exactly remembered how the cogs in my head turned but I had a Dr.House moment, the little pieces of this puzzle in my head fit together. Albeit a rather short puzzle, but a puzzle nonetheless.
Why oh why did this girl feel the need to tell me about the drink fridge when I was already on the verge of getting a drink? Maybe she just assumed I couldn't see it.... Three feet to my left.
Then it hit me.
Hit me like a sack of bricks.... Bricks with fists, fists wearing knuckle dusters made from bricks.... Bricks with fists, and thus the cycle goes on in brutal fashion.
"Oh! Get us a drink!"
"Oh! Get us a drink!"
"Oh! Get us a drink!"
Oh fucking hell.
Shit.
Shit.
Fuck.
Shit.
Oggy Oggy girl wasn't aware I was asking Girlfriend-face to get us a drink.
Oggy Oggy girl believed that I was rudely demanding her to go out of her way to get us a drink.
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Oggy Oggy girl believed I was audacious, and self-entitled enough to think that as opposed to simply opening a door myself and grabbing a drink, I wanted her to make her way around the counter, through me and Girlfriend-face, open the door and make her way back.
This didn't sit well with me. I sat with my pasty in a state of guilt.
"FUCK! You don't think she thought I was talking to her, do you?" I asked.
"I thought you were talking to her, at first" Girlfriend-face admitted.
Fucccccccccck.
My ego and arrogance is a strange thing indeed. I don't find peoples general opinion of me all that relevant. Some people simply dislike me, which is cool because odds are I don't like them either.
But when I'm believed to be rude, then oh fuck indeed I won't be able to handle that, and this is just what has happened.
I finished off my now guilt ridden pasty and decided I wanted to clear my name. I decided to genuinely go back to Oggy Oggy pasties and simply tell her her about the misunderstanding. It's cool, she'll know I was talking in a panic to Girlfriend-face, and I can return to the belief that everybody loves me.
SHE WASN'T THERE!
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Some people have inadvertently, or deliberately done something in which sadly, will be carried around on their shoulders for the rest of their days. The weight of this burden is only made heavier by the increasing guilt in which they're grasping onto.
It's not life altering, but it can affect the way somebody thinks for a while. It can be a learning experience, or an experience you'll look back on in shame one day. These guilt ridden moments can vary. From spreading a rumour about somebody who believed they could trust you, to injuring somebody and in some cases even ruining a life.
It's for that reason, my guiltiest moment is as woeful as it is weird.
Summer 2010.
It was a beautiful day in the middle of August, and I was in the middle of town with Girlfriend-face. Usually at some point we mark the day with some form of fast food. The usual contenders are the likes of Subway, KFC, Burger King... You get the picture.
However, living in Plymouth you're statistically only a stone throw away from a pasty shop, no matter where you are there will be one near by. So much so, that the pasty joint down the road from me shut down recently, and in replacement we have a fucking pasty van driving round the area at stupid o'clock in the morning like some sort of Cornish hot goods ice cream van. Surprisingly, I am yet to purchase one from this van. For some reason a pasty from a van is incredibly unappealing to me.
With this in mind, we decide that the best place for us to go is Oggy Oggy pasties, one of the more famous places to get a pasty, if not famous for their pasties then certainly famous for the unoriginal person screaming "OGGY OGGY OGGY OI OI OI" every five minutes at their door.
Me and Girlfriend-face enter the shop. Surprisingly, we're the only two customers.
We're greeted by one of the most genuinely cheery, happy, and lovely girls I've ever come across in my life.
"Hello! How can I help?" she smiled, her eyes twinkling of general pleasantries. Me and Girlfriend-face make our orders. Two steak pasties, a simple choice. The Oggy Oggy girl fishes out the pasties, places them in a bag for us and gets to the register.
Pasties make me incredibly thirsty, mix this with the incredibly hot weather then it didn't take a genius to decipher the fact that I'd need a drink almost instantly after leaving. In a rushed panic, I ask Girlfriend-face to grab me a drink from the nearby drinks fridge, literally right next to her.
"Oh! Get us a drink!".
I asked, the hastiness of trying to get Girlfriend-face to get the drink before Oggy Oggy girl cashed in the sub-total resulted in me asking rather rudely. Thankfully, Girlfriend-face knows I'm not good in situations in which speed is a factor so she forgave my rude tone.
However, at this point Oggy Oggy girl again smiled towards me and said....
"Oh.... The drink fridge is self service!" =)
"Ah........... Cool".
I knew this, hence why I asked Girlfriend-face to retrieve the drink, I assumed at the time she was just being courteous to our cause. To this day I don't know why I just said "Ah....... Cool".
Once we left, we sat down on a nearby bench. I don't exactly remembered how the cogs in my head turned but I had a Dr.House moment, the little pieces of this puzzle in my head fit together. Albeit a rather short puzzle, but a puzzle nonetheless.
Why oh why did this girl feel the need to tell me about the drink fridge when I was already on the verge of getting a drink? Maybe she just assumed I couldn't see it.... Three feet to my left.
Then it hit me.
Hit me like a sack of bricks.... Bricks with fists, fists wearing knuckle dusters made from bricks.... Bricks with fists, and thus the cycle goes on in brutal fashion.
"Oh! Get us a drink!"
"Oh! Get us a drink!"
"Oh! Get us a drink!"
Oh fucking hell.
Shit.
Shit.
Fuck.
Shit.
Oggy Oggy girl wasn't aware I was asking Girlfriend-face to get us a drink.
Oggy Oggy girl believed that I was rudely demanding her to go out of her way to get us a drink.
Oggy Oggy girl believed I was audacious, and self-entitled enough to think that as opposed to simply opening a door myself and grabbing a drink, I wanted her to make her way around the counter, through me and Girlfriend-face, open the door and make her way back.
This didn't sit well with me. I sat with my pasty in a state of guilt.
"FUCK! You don't think she thought I was talking to her, do you?" I asked.
"I thought you were talking to her, at first" Girlfriend-face admitted.
Fucccccccccck.
My ego and arrogance is a strange thing indeed. I don't find peoples general opinion of me all that relevant. Some people simply dislike me, which is cool because odds are I don't like them either.
But when I'm believed to be rude, then oh fuck indeed I won't be able to handle that, and this is just what has happened.
I finished off my now guilt ridden pasty and decided I wanted to clear my name. I decided to genuinely go back to Oggy Oggy pasties and simply tell her her about the misunderstanding. It's cool, she'll know I was talking in a panic to Girlfriend-face, and I can return to the belief that everybody loves me.
SHE WASN'T THERE!
This was nearly three years ago now.
In addition to not physically setting foot in that shop again, I've also never seen Oggy Oggy girl again.
Three years, I've still harbored feelings of bizarre guilt for this.
Maybe she's a follower of this blog somehow? Maybe for the wrong reasons, maybe I'm the forgotten rude customer, or maybe afterwards she figured out I was talking to girlfriend-face and realised I'd be in a strange abyss of guilt forever, thus sending her into a spiral of guilt. Who knows? Not me, and that's the sadness to the situation.
Oggy Oggy girl, if I ever see you again you have my word I will buy you a drink someday.
And once done, I'll retrieve it myself.
Much Love!
Danzo
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