I've jotted down a little list of blogs I've set myself the target of writing this month, all in all there's six of them. SIX!
Knowing this, any reasonably motivated person would get straight to it, I on the other hand can't even begin to fathom how the cogs in my head work to try and build motivation to write six random blogs when a previous entry was about how I have no motivation. Things don't look good on this note.
However I figured I'd use this entry to do a much needed update to previously written blogs, nothing major just a few little moments of "Oh yeah! This happened as well". I was either really absent minded or just really lazy, or probably both. Either way here's a few updates to some older blog posts.
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Knowing this, any reasonably motivated person would get straight to it, I on the other hand can't even begin to fathom how the cogs in my head work to try and build motivation to write six random blogs when a previous entry was about how I have no motivation. Things don't look good on this note.
However I figured I'd use this entry to do a much needed update to previously written blogs, nothing major just a few little moments of "Oh yeah! This happened as well". I was either really absent minded or just really lazy, or probably both. Either way here's a few updates to some older blog posts.
In this one I told the story of how a young me went on a social spree saying hello to everyone and everything I came across on a trip to town. Long story short, I said hello to a mannequin and brutally assaulted it for not replying to me.
A few weeks after writing this post I go to my dads house and eventually show him the post revisiting this story. Turns out, I didn't remember everything to this story, in fact it turned out it was a much more traumatic day than was anticipated.
First off, it emerged that it wasn't a clothes store that I visited, it was general department store and we just so happened to be on the clothing floor.
Anyway, after I attacked this poor defenseless mannequin I was probably in a social rage, I went on the hunt for more people to say hello to. Not just on the floor, in the entire fucking shop.
I went missing.
The store itself then had to close down for a while as they had a missing child on the loose. Staff had to search every store mercilessly looking for a happy little child, panics were in high demand as the search went on.
They eventually found me in the perfume aisle, possibly saying hello to perfume.
Since joining the gym almost one year ago I've only managed two episodic posts of my gym stories.
This isn't due to me being a wonderful gym user, this isn't even down to me just not having any horrible gym moments, it's purely down to me not going enough.
This, is soon to change (It actually is, this time) as I've convinced my friend Luke to sign up.
Now for those of you who don't know Luke, he is a shameless socially awkward hopeless romantic with a twisted sense of humour. This isn't a cliche when I say this the man could easily have a reality TV Show and instantly out rate the likes of Made in Chelsea and what other shit plagues TV. All I can recall in the past few months was when we both visited Holland & Barrett, a small health store.
A lovely girl served Luke as he bought a sesame seed snack, once we left he requested a pen, left in a panic and wrote his number on a receipt, the girl, upon discovering Luke writing his number left her checkout and presumably hid in her staff room. What felt like an eternity went by before she sheepishly returned.
I was a witness to this.
As Luke possibly regretting his actions handed her the receipt, she refused to hold out her hand to take it, Luke then had to place it on the counter whilst nodding at the receipt whilst stressing "You don't have to take it". It was probably the longest 45 seconds. of my entire life.
I've been a few times with Luke already now, both times we didn't take an awful lot seriously, it can only be bright for episode 3 when it finally comes. Plus I've managed to convince girlfriend-face to sign up with me.
Oh I'm sure it'll be a blast.
Remember how in our final drama performance we had to act out of play on our own depiction of a picture?
I described the picture as such
"We were given a picture to base the performance off. An old fashioned one, a really old man in some seriously fancy robes handing a shining key to a nervous looking woman Victoria woman. That was it, and we could take it anyway we saw it. We began to plan it out."
With this we created the mind bogglingly awful play 'The Attic' where a father and son purchased a house, was given keys to the attic by the landlord and then right after the purchase warned them to never set foot in the attic.
Long story short, they went into the attic, and fucking died by two irrelevant ghosts.
I would have posted the picture I described on that blog, but there was absolutely no way of finding it again after six years without seeing it.
GUESS AGAIN!
Browsing the web the other day I come across the exact same picture and the story.
Alright, fair enough the key wasn't shiny, in fact it pales in comparison to the other keys but nonetheless I was spot on with the creepy snazzily dressed guy.
The story was actually the story of Bluebeard, who married women and then murdered them essentially. He gave each bride a key to the basement and warned them not to go inside, eventually they all did saw a bunch of old murdered wives and then got murdered as well.
Now, looking back at our performance and then reading this story we were fucking close! In fact I would have gave myself a high five if instead of a basement it was an attic he gave the keys to.
So fuck it, I'm taking that as a victory.
In this post, I made a huge list on things that scared me as a child. On said list, for some reason orange segments were indeed a valid fear for me.
Turns out, it was not orange segments it was peach segments. Tomato Tamata, really I still fail to see how a dead fish looks like either of the two but sailing so, it was a needed, yet albeit short edit.
Although Lou's afraid/weirded out by peaches so maybe there's some genetic thing for peaches here.
Way back in July, in what was meant to be a short, simple trip to town turned into me being stuck in a crowd of people gawping at a celebrity I didn't like.
I had no interest in this, as Heston actually seems like a bit of a dick, judging from the way he was belittling his camera crew and had zero interest in the people actually supporting his shitty show.
Anyway Heston leaves and life goes on.
However, a few days ago my mum gets a call from my aunt "Oh I was watching that Heston Blumenthal show and saw Dan!".
Curious, I booted up 4oD, trawled through some shit about chicken flavoured chewing gum and there I see me for the best part of five seconds.
See the guy in the pink shirt with his head buried in his phone?
THAT'S ME!
And look how much I care about the situation at hand! When I kept mentioning how uninterested I was it wasn't to make myself sound cool or whatever "Pfffft Heston's in the mall? Big woop!" it was through a genuine lack in ability to care. Truth be told I thought I displayed a bit more interest in the matter, but evidently not.
Should have worn a tee shirt with my blog address on it really.
Oh well.
I better get working on those six blogs now.
Much Love!
Dan
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