Here is two vital things about me before I start this blog entry.
2: I do not own a business of any kind. All I have is a Facebook page. Speaking of which you should totally like it now! (Linkity Link)
So that's Samy.... The angry manager who refuses to pay the waiting staff their tips and keeps them for himself because "he's the most busy". I suppose shouting at patrons does count as busy, but probably not good in the long run.
So in comes old Ramsay and tries to work his angry Scottish magic.
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1: I cannot cook for my life. I am awful at it. Pictured below is an example of my cooking skill on pancake day.
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| Mmmmmm |
2: I do not own a business of any kind. All I have is a Facebook page. Speaking of which you should totally like it now! (Linkity Link)
So that said. I'm one of the last people that should be pointing the finger of laughter at a failing business I've heard about recently.
Amy's Baking Company Bakery Boutique & Bistro.
The name may scream familiarity, they were recently on an episode of Gordan's Kitchen Nightmares USA. It's actually the only episode I've watched of the USA series, and it has fully bewildered me.
Do you know when you watch X Factor? And a dolled up woman comes out, says that it's her lifelong dream to become a famous singer? She then warbles out a disgustingly bad rendition of Jeff Buckleys Hallelujah, and is then horribly let down by the four judges. At this point her dream is on the brink of being shattered, but she doesn't see how or why. It's simple, she's deluded. But it's okay. Because her delusions aren't hurting anybody, she just flat out sucks at singing.
Now imagine this delusion of singing and transfer it to a delusion of being able to cook. This is what we're dealing with here. And then some!
You see, Amy Bouzaglos had a dream. That dream was to be a chef at her own restaurant, so her husband Samy invested over one million dollars into her restaurant to make this dream happen. The problem lies here though. Once you have a restaurant you have to keep it afloat and make sure your business doesn't go head over heels, that's pretty much the first page of any business I imagine, hell, it's so obvious it's probably not on any page.
Old Amy and Samy here can't seem to fathom that in the cut throat restaurant industry there are two rules you should probably live by.
1: Make sure the food is at the very least edible
2: Be nice to your customers.
Within the first ten minutes of the show we see Samy try to fathom the basics of a computer ordering system, and Amy try to juggle a bunch of under-cooked food around and slag off her customers. One customer complains that her food was undercooked, Amy then went off on a rant in the kitchen saying how she's going to make it extra spicy and she hopes it'd hurt. Shit.
Eventually a couple of dudes who have apparently spent an hour waiting for one pizza go to complain to Samy.
Samy. Freaks. The. Fuck. Out.
Despite Pizza dude not actually getting his food, Samy demands that he either pays for his absent pizza or he'll call the police. All fucking anarchy breaks loose as Amy then starts acting like a fourteen year old wannabe pop star/model screaming "FUCK THE HATERS!".
Anyone who dares criticise the food gets told that they simply don't know 'food' and basically gets sent away. Delusion and anger mixing in a cringe inducing viewing.
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| Pizza Dude is sent packing. |
So that's Samy.... The angry manager who refuses to pay the waiting staff their tips and keeps them for himself because "he's the most busy". I suppose shouting at patrons does count as busy, but probably not good in the long run.
NOW We have Amy!
Do you remember a while ago I wrote about Samantha Brick the Daily Mail writer who wrote an entire article on how good looking she is. It's uncanny how alike these two are. They could all live together and crumble under the weight of their own stupid ego.
Amy here insists that her restaurant and her cooking skill is fantastic. All the fault lies in her 'under qualified staff' bad hater reviews and angry bloggers (Whoops).
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| She also really, really likes eyeshadow. |
So in comes old Ramsay and tries to work his angry Scottish magic.
Long story short, it's the first episode ever that he just essentially says "Oh fuck it" and leaves. All in all these were just a few of the problems
1: Amy and Samy are complete egomaniacs who outright refuse to listen to any simple criticism.
2: Amy fired a waitress (a decent one at that) for simply saying "Are you sure?" and 'poisoning the kitchen atmosphere'.
3: Turns out they were buying their food from stores and rebranding it as their home made stuff.
3.1: Which is almost impressive being that bad at cooking that you can fuck up store quality food.
4: They have had over fifty members of staff either quit, or be fired withing a year.
5: Amy also has been to prison for social security fraud!
However, this episode wasn't the reason for this blog entry. Oh no.
The real reason is that these two have a Facebook page. Since the episode aired their Facebook has gone into full blown fucking chaos.
People have criticised them (rightfully so, to be fair) and instead of ignoring it, or blocking them, they've gone into some sort of "FUCK YOU ALL OF YOU!" mode and spent their time writing angry, hilarious status's.
I fear that they won't be round too long so I'm posting some screenshots here to keep me amused in the future.
I'm no expert on any form of etiquette. And I've never taken on a hate mob before. But I'm pretty sure the these status's are just making it worst for themselves.
If they just ignored it the "haters, pussies and sinners" would've just moved on, but instead they've gone into a full angry daily rant about how stupid everyone is.
Also, I have no idea what Ressling is but I'm 95% sure that it's not what America is about. Arizona maybe, but certainly not America as a whole.
Also.
Without sounding like those cuntish smug atheists who hate on anything with God involved. But, why does leaving a bad review of a shitty restaurant make you a sinner? As if when you die you're going to be rejected at those pearly gates because of a bad review.
What?
At moments like this you have to ponder if this is serious or not. Apparently, it really is.
Classing yourself as Wonder Woman is one thing, but then....
"I AM A GREAT MOM TO MY KIDS! WE WILL BE PARENTS TO A HUMAN KID".
Shit, it's like a growing mental problem. She had three cats, but no sane person should ever refer to herself as a mother to felines.
It does explain an awful lot though.
DON'T LITERALLY THREATEN YOUR CUSTOMERS YOU BLOODY IDIOTS.
The best part is, they're fighting back against Reddit. A website I frequent every now and again, they then posted this screen capped picture of one of their victory moments. They fitting titled it "SEE WE WILL GET YOU!" Whatever could they be talking about?
Ha.
I'm quite a fan of how they very clearly edited the final comment themselves and photoshopped it in. They could of at the very least used the same font.
The idea that went though their head amuses me.
"Whew, I said the police are involved now! It's all over, now Samy pop to Wal-Mart and get some food for tonight!".
"GOOD PLAN AMY FACK YOU WORLD!"
By the looks of it, there's no stopping it so far. I genuinely recommend checking out the Facebook page for yourself. I'm sure there's more to come from the angry chefs in the future!
Much Love!
Danzo
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