I know it's probably a common notion in life for people who have the internet to look back into the past and think "Oh fucking hell..... That happened".
It's like a right of passage in life that if you have had the internet for a long period of time odds are eventually you will relive something horrendous that made you want to punch your former self in the back of the head. Hard. With a blunt object.
This is apparently, my time. But instead of burying this bomb, I'm just going to explode it, right here, right now to save myself from the horrid repression of reading it alone.
Dan Reed: Fifteen years of age. 2005.
My favorite song back then was Kelly Clarksons 'behind these hazel eyes' I rarely had a girlfriend who didn't live at least 200 miles away, and to top it all off I was one of those little twats you get who had just the tiniest bit of vodka and then proceeded to act completely drunk. This is not something I look back on with much pride at all, and it's completely bewildering how quickly the transition from shitty fifteen year old me to cool seventeen year old me was, but that's another story to tell.
Of course, I've wrote a previous blog from the past post from my days on Myspace, a whiny douchey self loathing post from when I was 17 (Bit of a contradiction seeing as I was just saying how cool I was at that age). Read that one first, as bad as it may be it's nowhere near as fucking bad as what you're about to read is.
The blog was posted on the 16th August 2005 and simply titled "WOOOOOOOOOOOOOO". As full as energy I might have been back then, I surely was punchable.
Here's the key to this blog too, as re-reading my old Myspace blog blog I noticed I had to go up to see what I was referring to.
When the text is normal, like this that's my opinion on said blog post.
When the text is bold, fat and chunky like this, that means it's my old blog.
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Already an overuse of the exclamation point, you can see this is going to take a fucking while.Why was it amazing though? Hoh hohhhhhh! You will see my friends.
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Jesus Christ.
Let me just throw a disclaimer in here. I've not read this blog in years, I simply saw the title of it, and thought "this is bound to be horrifying" and thought it'd be better if my opinion on it was instant to save myself stewing in some serious self loathing.
Clearly, from the "Dan aka me" quip I was on a pathway to hell, the stupid thing is I'm only also known as me, to myself, so already we have a stupid flaw in my own past logic. Another exclamation point too. Let's count how may we get, we're currently on 4.
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Yeah that's right. Fuck off James, Fuck off back to your broken home, we'll see you 'layer'.
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So we went to TR2 to audition for a job.
And now we're filling out application forms to be actors, how can two 15 year old kids be this stupid? I actually remember referencing Luke in my application form and then stressed the fact that we're willing to do ANYTHING. It's like the start of a horrible, illegal porno. Shockingly, they never got back to us.
HogsHead was a pub, before you question it.
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It's like a right of passage in life that if you have had the internet for a long period of time odds are eventually you will relive something horrendous that made you want to punch your former self in the back of the head. Hard. With a blunt object.
This is apparently, my time. But instead of burying this bomb, I'm just going to explode it, right here, right now to save myself from the horrid repression of reading it alone.
Dan Reed: Fifteen years of age. 2005.
My favorite song back then was Kelly Clarksons 'behind these hazel eyes' I rarely had a girlfriend who didn't live at least 200 miles away, and to top it all off I was one of those little twats you get who had just the tiniest bit of vodka and then proceeded to act completely drunk. This is not something I look back on with much pride at all, and it's completely bewildering how quickly the transition from shitty fifteen year old me to cool seventeen year old me was, but that's another story to tell.
Of course, I've wrote a previous blog from the past post from my days on Myspace, a whiny douchey self loathing post from when I was 17 (Bit of a contradiction seeing as I was just saying how cool I was at that age). Read that one first, as bad as it may be it's nowhere near as fucking bad as what you're about to read is.
The blog was posted on the 16th August 2005 and simply titled "WOOOOOOOOOOOOOO". As full as energy I might have been back then, I surely was punchable.
Here's the key to this blog too, as re-reading my old Myspace blog blog I noticed I had to go up to see what I was referring to.
When the text is normal, like this that's my opinion on said blog post.
When the text is bold, fat and chunky like this, that means it's my old blog.
WOOOOOOOOOOOO
Today (Wednesday 16th August 2005) was fucking amazing, it started off like this!!!
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Already an overuse of the exclamation point, you can see this is going to take a fucking while.Why was it amazing though? Hoh hohhhhhh! You will see my friends.
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12PM- Dan aka Me wakes up in his very nice bed!
Jesus Christ.
Let me just throw a disclaimer in here. I've not read this blog in years, I simply saw the title of it, and thought "this is bound to be horrifying" and thought it'd be better if my opinion on it was instant to save myself stewing in some serious self loathing.
Clearly, from the "Dan aka me" quip I was on a pathway to hell, the stupid thing is I'm only also known as me, to myself, so already we have a stupid flaw in my own past logic. Another exclamation point too. Let's count how may we get, we're currently on 4.
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1pm- Dan's friend Luke pops round,
1:15PM Dan and Luke head to the Hoe
2PM- Dan and Luke call for James on the Hoe seems like we called at the right time because we saved him from Family trouble. (Go us!) (5)
1:15PM Dan and Luke head to the Hoe
2PM- Dan and Luke call for James on the Hoe seems like we called at the right time because we saved him from Family trouble. (Go us!) (5)
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Just so you're aware, 'The Hoe' is a large waterfront in Plymouth, it's basically where everybody goes on a nice day, granted it is pretty lovely.
James was a bebo friend of mine the day I wrote that post, I'm sure he must have deeply appreciated the sentiment of me posting that he had family trouble online, especially when I think it emerged his parents were getting a divorce or something.
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3PM- Dan and Luke arrange to meet James layer today. James fucks off home.
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Yeah that's right. Fuck off James, Fuck off back to your broken home, we'll see you 'layer'.
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3 or 4pm couldn't be assed to check: Dan and Luke are making there way home then SHOCK SHOCK Horror horror, we see our old dram Teacher Mr.Rockcliffe King!!!!!!!!!(14) so we're talking for about 15-25 minutes
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More context of course needed. Mr.Rockcliffe-King was a drama teacher in my school from the year 7-9, the lessons were largely dominated by him making up unbelievable stories then getting offended when somebody questioned them. I believe one of these stories included him not seeing his brother since he was four (He's about sixty) getting on a plane, and the passenger next to him was his brother! What are the odds?
It emerged in this conversation with him that he was fired for helping a teacher who had stumbled over drunk or something like that, he then literally spat on the floor whilst talking about the deputy head. Fuck I miss him.
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Bout 4ish: Dan and Luke head off to TR2 Because apparently we should audition for a job there.
4:30: Dana nd Luke wondering around the industrial estate hopelessly
4:45pm: Dan and Luke ask a Cockney guy for directions and he tells us (legend)
4:30: Dana nd Luke wondering around the industrial estate hopelessly
4:45pm: Dan and Luke ask a Cockney guy for directions and he tells us (legend)
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Right.
That's kinda cool, I guess.
I mean like, yeah. Apparently simply running into a guy who happens to be from London who gives us directions must be a legend for no reason. I don't even know what happened to make him a legend, OR if he was just a legend because he gave us directions. Fuck, I don't even remember the conversation. I don't even know if he was cockney, from the perspective back then he was probably Welsh or something.
In fact the whole set of events is summed up in one shitty sentence.
The industrial estate is about five minutes away from where I now live, and it's twist and turns and old abandoned railways everywhere. If we were in fact hopelessly lost there then that would make a good story, but instead we sum the whole thing up with "We ask a guy for directions and he tells us".
Just like that! He just tells us, and that's that, he's a fucking legend, don't ask any questions, don't ask to elaborate just shut up and assume that this cockney in question said no more than where we needed to go, and bam. Legend forever apparently. Thanks for the fucking context there, 15 year old me.
Also, what?? Audition for a job? Is that even a phrase? It shouldn't be if it is. Considering we didn't want a job there, we wanted to just take part there, I suppose this is where context comes into play.
TR2, (Theater Royal 2) is a small youth acting centre, every so often this leads to plays, but it was mostly just a theater workshop. Not a lot of wonders emerged there.
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5pm:after Dana nd Luke get rejected at TR2 We decide to go to the Theatre royal
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We didn't get rejected, we wanted to enroll in TR2 if you will. Fuck, it wasn't even a rejection the man at the desk just told us to try again 'next term' which was literally about two weeks from that day. I joined in the end. But that's another blog post.
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5:30pm: We arrive at theatre royal to get application form.
5:45pm: we arrive at Luke's moms restarant to fill in application form.
6pm: Hand in application form, and then we went to the Hogs head
5:45pm: we arrive at Luke's moms restarant to fill in application form.
6pm: Hand in application form, and then we went to the Hogs head
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So we went to TR2 to audition for a job.
And now we're filling out application forms to be actors, how can two 15 year old kids be this stupid? I actually remember referencing Luke in my application form and then stressed the fact that we're willing to do ANYTHING. It's like the start of a horrible, illegal porno. Shockingly, they never got back to us.
HogsHead was a pub, before you question it.
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6:30pm: we discoverd that the England game wasn't on in the Hogs head so we go to the First and Last pub
6:45pm: we arrive in first and last we get a few dirty looks until we brought a drink and became locals :-)
6:45pm: we arrive in first and last we get a few dirty looks until we brought a drink and became locals :-)
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What the hell? Correct me if I'm wrong but that is not how 'locals' work.
A local, to me is somebody who uses an establishment more than once or twice a week, and lives LOCALLY.
NOT
two kids who happen to be in the area, enter for the first time and buy one drink. That is not a local, that is a passing by if anything, I never even returned! I bought a half pint of coke, and that is my only purchase in the history of that pub. £1.50 is all they made off me. That is not a local, it doesn't matter if I add a shitty smiley face, it's a stupid thing to believe.
Oh god, did I actually genuinely believe myself to be a local because of this one transaction? I can only well and truly pray that I never.
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7:pm england game Kicks off
8:15pm I go for a pee, come back and Denmark had scored :-(
8:20pm Denmark score again :-(
8: 30pm: Luke goes for a pee and Denmark score.
9pm: Dan and Luke leave pub and head for the hoe again
9:30pm: Dan and Luke call for James on the Hoe. notice fire works (very Nice)
8:15pm I go for a pee, come back and Denmark had scored :-(
8:20pm Denmark score again :-(
8: 30pm: Luke goes for a pee and Denmark score.
9pm: Dan and Luke leave pub and head for the hoe again
9:30pm: Dan and Luke call for James on the Hoe. notice fire works (very Nice)
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Just in case anybody missed it that day, I decided to sum up an entire fucking football match in less than two sentences, along with our use of the bathroom, because that's wonderful reading apparently.
The last part of that set of events bother me. We go to the Hoe, and just so happen to notice fireworks. As if they were going off all day and we were just in a state of oblivion to this. "Oh fucking hell, look Luke! Fireworks!". In fact I think we went back to the Hoe for the very purpose of seeing the fireworks so I don't understand why we acted surprised by them.
My review was certainly helpful though.
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10pm: Me Luke and James nearly shit ourselves on the new ride!(15)
10:30pm: James fucks off home
10:30pm: James fucks off home
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Descriptive me off again. "I Went on new ride" what new ride is this former self? Somebody who isn't familiar with the continuity of rides on the Hoe may not have a clue what you're talking about. "Well that's their fucking problem".
I do actually remember what the new ride was, it was just one of those tower of terror sort of rides. Granted it was unsettling, seeing as it plunged you down a giant 70 foot pole in a matter of seconds but nearly shitting ourselves isn't so advisable.
Then, delicately put once more, James indeed 'fucks off home'. I think I get angered at him leaving.
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11pm: me and Luke go our separate ways and go home I have to walk home alone :-(
12am: Dan makes it home in one piece :-)
12:25am Dan on msn now and writing in blog
12am: Dan makes it home in one piece :-)
12:25am Dan on msn now and writing in blog
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Wow what a day.
To sum it up, we walked, walked some more, failed in applying for a theatre, went to a pub and watched the fireworks. And somehow this attributed to the best day ever.
I must say thank god my life improved after that, is this is what I considered back then to be a really good, eventful day I dread to think what I'd consider good now.
I even make a point of how I go on MSN and write the blog. This is a factor of my good day. My goodness that is depressing.
And the worst part?
This is just the start of my Bebo blogs.
Be afraid,
Be very fucking afraid.
Much Love
Dan
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